Loving Me

  I was asked the question today "Do I wish I knew what people think of me? And if I did know, would it change who I am?" I was saddened in the asking because I know the person who asked it does care, and generally imagines that people think the worst of her.  It baffles me because this person is so incredibly special, so generous, so beautiful inside and out, and I wish she knew it.  Really knew it because knowing you are worthy and liking yourself are incredibly freeing qualities.

I simply answered the question "I assume that everyone thinks I am as awesome as God thinks I am.  It makes life far more simple."  Maybe that sounds arrogant or flippant (heh, you ought to know that it won't bother me if you think it does), but it is absolutely true.

Almost ten years ago, nine years and eleven months ago to be exact, I had to come to terms with a lot of things.  I could die, and that hasn't changed.  What I do today is important, and that hasn't changed.  I can either laugh or cry about my life, but I still have to get through it either choice I make, and that hasn't changed.  I am the person that I have to be with for the rest of my life, and I better learn to like myself or it's going to be one sorry life.  And that hasn't changed.

Understand that liking myself doesn't mean that I think I am perfect.  There are things I battle with daily, characteristics have a worked on for years with little progress.  I mess up big and often (another thing I have learned is that apologies are easy to give and make life so much sweeter).  I have bad days, weeks, occasionally even months.  I have tromped on people's feelings, put my foot in my mouth, been thoughtless, been spiteful, been selfish, been petty and called names.  I'm not proud of those things.  I try not to wallow in them.  But if I dwell on them, I miss out on all the good things that my life has to offer, and I am blessed beyond what is reasonable for any one person to expect.

See I have a little verse I like to repeat to myself "He who created a good work IN ME is faithful to complete it"  Those aren't empty words.  They are a promise.  A Divine Hope that I may suck today, but it is going to get better. Why? Because my God is a faithful God. He cannot, He is literally unable to leave me in an unchanged state.  When He chose me He started something amazing in me, and He will finish it.  There is nothing in me that is inherently good.  I know this.  I know it well.  That list of characteristics above? That is the real me, and you can add about fifty or seventy- five more nasty things that I didn't bother to write down.  As for me, I have nothing to offer.

But (and this is really amazing, so be sure you are paying attention) God is so good, and so miraculous, that those nasty flesh things, they no longer exist.  Every bad and fleshly thing in me, God wiped away.  Oh, He knows them all, better than I knew them myself.  But when He looks at me, He doesn't see them.  He sees the redeemed me.  He sees the creation that He set on this earth to serve a purpose, a purpose that only I can fulfill.  And He designed me with His very own hands specifically accorded to the purpose He had in mind.  Is that not incredible?? Knowing this, how can I not like me? Of all the people, in the world, for all time there will only ever be one me! Do I think that makes me special? You better believe it!

I don't have to worry what anyone thinks of me because I know who I am, and I know who I am in Christ.  If God didn't want me here, listening to Him and doing what He wants me to do, then I wouldn't be here.  It's as simple as that.  I'm not finished yet.  I know that.  I am not even close to perfect.  I know that too.  But here I am, me, a daughter of the King, special, loved, chosen, beautiful. Why? Because God says I am.  It doesn't matter what I think or what anyone else thinks.  Because God is Truth. 

And that is where I'll choose to stand.

Comments

[Brian]

What a lovely positive person you are!

[Toonya]

Beautiful. This brought tears to my eyes because I battle with feeling rejected,unappreciated, and like a failure alot. I really needed to be reminded that I am forgiven and loved ..even when I don't "feel" it. Thank you for blessing me today.

[charity]

Thankyou, Dana, again. You have a gift for taking the principle and making it practical. You rock!! :)

[Tina]

Amen!

So well written!

[Anne]

Wow. Just wow. I spend all day (and I mean all day and some of the night as well) fighting the demons who bring back every bad thing that I ever did, every thoughtless word, every unkind action, every bit of gossip, every lie, every impure thought or action - they bombard me all day and sometimes I can't even think for myself they talk and condemn so loud. But this afternoon, I think I heard another voice...one that spoke through your blog and gently reminded me that *I* might remember all those things, but God doesn't. And He's not finished with me yet. I might feel lke giving up on me, but God hasn't. Thank you Dana...and praise God for the words He gave you today.

[Becca]

Wow...talk about God. I was just struggling tonight with some inner - sensitivity issue demons of my own and could not sleep, and came in to check on you (I love lurking) and WOW!! I was lead here! That girl could have been me in a way. I'm so sensitive to others that then I start to over worry what I've done, not done, said, or not said...and my mind and heart go crazy and I just WORRY.....

Thanks for reminding me why I'm here....no matter the imperfections I battle inside me....

Anyways, I appreciate you....
Becca

[Leann]

LOVE IT!!! :)